i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
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i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
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I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Dicks are not precious.
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