if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize