The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize