I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize