I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize