Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize