thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
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i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
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My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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