Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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