i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
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We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
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If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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