hell yes lets make some ravioli
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize