We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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