***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize