It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
found the other keg... it's in the tree
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize