Will you blow on my dice?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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