she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The power of my boobs compel you
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