totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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