Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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