i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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