the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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