Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
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Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
3pm strippers are depressing
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
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No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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