If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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