He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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