She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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