how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
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Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
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SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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