bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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