a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize