a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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