One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
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It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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