I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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