wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
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Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
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I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize