Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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