The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
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about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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