dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
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his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
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Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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