speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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