I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
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Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
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You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I think i got beer on your cat.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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