I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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