my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize