I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I am one with the molecules
I touched a dick in church today
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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