people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize