Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
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If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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