What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
no you cant smoke seaweed
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize