i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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