Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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