I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize