all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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