You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Alive.
So much puke
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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