OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
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Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
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I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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