in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize