I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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