Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize